It has been a week since I last saw him, 9 days to go till I can see him again…

I finally got to talk to Matt!!! :D

Been over 24 hours and no contact.. If I don’t get a text soon I will snap…

I really don’t know how I am going to cope for two weeks. He hasn’t even left the country and I’m a wreck.

Matt goes off to Uganda tomorrow for just over 2 weeks and tonight is the last time I get to see him. How do you spend time with someone knowing that this will be the last time you get to see them and talk to them properly in a long time?
I honestly do not know how I will cope. We talk constantly. I have seen him almost everyday since we started going out. Even when I’m not with him we are constantly texting. How are we going to go from that to barely nothing is beyond me.
I know that everything is going to go right back to normal when I see him but I think I can understand what heartbreak feels like, I can understand the pain of loving someone intently to never seeing them again, just in a very small dose.
I think love truly shows itself when absence is created.

Matt stayed round last night and woke me up this morning with breakfast in bed. Damn he is a keeper

I’ve finished school forever. I will never have to sit another exam or walk through those dreaded halls again. My safety blanket has been ripped away from my tight clutch and I’m not entirely sure what I am meant to do now. I have a 2 month summer ahead of me and I still haven’t got used to the feeling of not revising, my body doesn’t understand how to relax anymore. But after those 2 months I don’t really know what is instore for me, if I get the grades then uni. But going to uni means leaving behind everything I made for myself in the last 3 years of my life, I finally feel settled and thought of having to uproot again is not very attractive. The thought of being so far away from Matt also kills me and I know people say that boys come and go, but I dont want to lose Matt. Yes we have our arguments and I get stressed out very easily but he knows all the little things about me and he can get me out of any bad mood. So imagining me in 3 months down the line is difficult because I have the life I want in my head but I know that won’t be my reality. 

Ankle is incredibly sore and the thought of having to walk around on it for 6 hours sounds like hell. Can work just fuck off please? Please?!